#sharestrength – Chemotherapy #9

It has been 3 weeks since my 9th chemotherapy cycle. As usual, the side effects were never the same. After administering so much drug into my body for 9 times since March, I was finally confused which cycle I was at. Every time I got confused, I visited my blog to check the latest update on my chemotherapy treatment. Hehe.

Another remarkable (and depressing) experience during this chemotherapy cycle was numbness or tingling in my fingers and toes. At times, I felt it in my entire arm and foot too. According to Cancer Research UK, nearly everyone undergoing FOLFOX chemotherapy gets this side effect due to oxaliplatin drug. In worst case scenario, I’d have trouble buttoning my shirt, etc. Sadly, unlike other side effects that usually go away by the time I have my next treatment, this numbness and tingling feeling seems to persist. I still have it as I’m typing 3 weeks after my recent treatment. It’d take months to heal apparently. I hope it doesn’t get worse in my remaining 3 treatments.

That’s right! I only have 3 treatments left. I never thought I’d go this far in the treatment because I was planning to stop at the 6th cycle. But because I have been coping with the side effects pretty well (except drop in platelets and white blood cells that delayed my treatments many times), I’m still undergoing treatment.

I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel in this chemotherapy journey. Perhaps this is why I’m getting so confused. Half of the time, I’m envisioning my post-chemotherapy journey — going through follow up and so on. Another half of the time, my brain is still stuck with the 3 remaining chemotherapy and wondering how long I’d take to complete them, considering how I’ve been asked to delay my treatments again and again.

I noticed that I have been more quick tempered recently. I hope it’s just the side effects from the treatment because I don’t like to feel agitated.

I also noticed that I’ve forgotten all about taking a break from work to focus on my chemotherapy treatment. A few months back, I was telling myself that if I failed my blood test and had to delay my chemotherapy treatment, I would take a break from work. I have been working from home more frequently but I clearly haven’t found my balance because I have delayed my treatment 4 times now.

Do you think I’d take 6 or up to 9 weeks to complete my remaining cycles?

I’ve definitely slowed down a lot in terms of my weekend activities. Been spending more time sleeping in the recent cycles. I should exercise though.